Nazz Ashari’s Neighborhood

Internship place decided. Surprise, surprise, I'm going to be keeping Mokhtar company for the next couple of months! I would have really loved to work at *Scape, there's just too much to take care of back home that I can't put off. What with everything else I have going on, working with the man is the best, most flexible option. Since I'm rather handy to have around (hah!), I'll probably be his PA, driver, designer, cook, etc rolled into one. Not too sure what hanging around the perve for two months straight is going to do to my head though, aih. I'll be seeing a lot of you Subang-ites soon!

And a shitty internet connection. Nice fuck.

Yes, yes, as you can see I went to the 'almost' heavenly Tioman island.
I went with two mates. On the bus, somewhere in deep Pahang, 2:30 am.
Another mate, sleeping like a baby.
Finally after six hours of torturous ride, we finally made it to Mersing. (I only got two hours of short, often interrupted sleep).
Then we got on the ferry at about 7:30 am.
And took some more photos.
And a lovely view.
And a lovely view.
And finally, the island.
Got off the ferry. Head still wobbly from not having enough and proper sleep. Cheese.
As you can see, the view is just simply breathtakingly majestic.
More view.
Postcard perfect view.
Delirious.
A view from our chalet's window.
We did quite a few activities there, like fishing and swimming. We planned to do snorkeling but it's just simply too expensive. Let alone snorkeling. There was no motorboats around. Not enough strong wave for surfing. A lot of strong wind though but nobody did wind surfing. Of course there are no photos of us taking a swim because we took a swim nude beach style like.
Just kidding.
Waiting for our lunch at an extremely windy street side cafe.
Nice sunset.
Next day, fishing at the jetty.
You can see the fish biting the bait.
A Chinese couple joined us as well. Threw bits of bread to attract the fishes.
Caught a colorful fish.
Then at night a fishing boat docked at the jetty, unloading their catch of the day.
And took this picture of this (something) thing.
Friday morning, light drizzle. 8 am, waiting for breakfast.
Our breakfast. With bread. (Oh sorry, I forgot to rotate the picture).
While waiting for our ferry to take us back to mainland, another round of fishing at the jetty.
We can only dream of catching a black marlin.
I want to come back to Tioman.
On the way back, a French family sat next to us. Their daughter, a cute little girl which I have forgotten her name sang a few songs to me which I'm not familiar with. I thought it must have been some French kindergarten song or something. Since I was sleepy at that time, and I can't speak French, I just smiled at her while she sang happily at me.

First impression: Ooh, Sigur Ros has released a new album just last week.
Second impression: The title is awfully long and impossible to be pronounced and remembered. Unlike Takk..., or ( ).
Third impression: Why is there naked people featured on the front cover?
Fourth impression: I thought Coldplay was the only one who had gone mad with Viva La Vida but Gobbledigook is just about as weird. Delightfully weird.
Fifth impression: There is even more naked people in the single's video clip.
Sixth impression: Viva La Vida sounds like a must buy because the song of the same name is just too weird for a Coldplay. This new album by Sigur Ros seems like it is going to be on my must buy list as well because I've never seen a band who made such 'happy' songs that everyone starts to take their clothes off. Freak Naturalismo?

I. Around April I gave up eating rice for a month. Not because I wanted to lose weight, but I realized that rice was my catalyst to over-eating - "Just one plate of nasi + sambal belacan + ikan masin + ulam? NEVAHH. Bring on the other 2." That sort of thing. As a result I think I've lost at least an inch around my thighs and can fit into some old pants (yeslah). I feel lighter, eating better. Have already gone back to eating rice but only before 2pm and most days I still don't eat rice. Feels like breaking up with a lover, it does. Which brings me to

II. Fauzan and I have parted ways. I loved him more than life, but the intensity of it was too overwhelming. I wish him well.

II-I. Parents still don't know yet. My ma has just gotten used to the idea of him (ie saying his name without making a face). Cik Idah knows; she's the only adult within a million mile radius I would confide in about something like this. But nobody else in the family knows yet, and I'm keeping it that way for a while.

III. Internship is supposed to start soon. Decided to take July off to breathe, so am going to be working in August & September. Narrowed it down to three choices: *scape in Singapore, malaysiakini or iseekmusic. I really hope I get to work in Singapore; other than having to put my music classes on hold, it would be a very very welcome change of pace. Parents have agreed, Hougang Ave 5 has agreed. malaysiakini would be awesome too, and interning at iseekmusic is probably the best plan C I could have ever come up with.

III-I. At first dad agreed, thinking I was aiming to work in a commercial / corporate company. To which I replied Whatever gave you that idea?' and he goes into a litany of how I should be interning at the kind of place where I will be working at later, yadayadayada. To which I then replied 'Well, yes, that's why I want to intern at a youth council.' What upsets me about all of this is that they don't respect what I want out of life and refuse to listen when I want to talk with them about important things like this. But that's another story altogether.

IV. Dizzy & The are recording! This makes me a very happy camper :) Our adventures in the studio, among others, are documented here. Li is possibly the cutest recording virgin ever. Adek has been keeping us company (but of course). And Mokhtar is just seventeen kinds of awesome to be patient enough to put up with our shenanigans and we are grateful.

IV-I. Saying that ma is not handling me coming back late a lot very well would be a massive understatement. I could go on and on and bitch but I do know where she's coming from. I just wish she would see where I'm coming from too.

IV-I-I. Evil and I are speaking again, though I don't know how long it will last. He's actually on my side about this whole non-issue. Abang's no use at times like these. He got out of the frying pan years ago and is not about to jump into the fire. I don't blame him.

V. I've been thinking about future plans, even more than I usually do (if that's possible). Dad planted the idea of me studying for my Master's in a Spanish-speaking country and of course I made a beeline for them Argentine universities. The most promising so far is Master's in Social Work at National University of La Plata (program outline here). I would really like to find a happy medium between my communication studies, my musical life and my dream to work with social and community programs. Right now I only have time and brainspace to concentrate effectively with 2 out of 3. I foresee that once I finish school I can commit myself to something more concrete in the realm of social work. Am going to spend the next month finding out what existing programs are in place by authorities and NGOs and how they are run.

Of course, I also want to spend a summer in Berklee, learn shoemaking and carpentry and printmaking, be a certified wildlife rehabilitator, start my own vegetable garden, enrol in pilot lessons, finally earn my DipABRSM and go on to FRSM, etc. Nobody is immortal, yes, but it's nice to plan your life as if you were.

VI. Friends.

VI-I. I miss my old friends. Some of them are back for holidays, some back for good. I don't spend as much time with them as I'd like, but when I do, it feels like everything and nothing has changed. A recurring theme in my life these days, but beside the point. It's disconcerting, and I can't find it in me to reconcile then and now. Growing up, it sucks.

VI-II. I adore my new friends. These past few years have been an explosion of new friends, new places to confide and to find comfort in. There really is no way I could have gone through the years and come out relatively unscathed and smiling if it weren't for them, and for that I am thankful.

VII. I wanted to write at length about something. About someone. But those who I want to know about it already know more than they need to. So I'll just enigmatically (and frustratingly) leave it at this.

I think Radiohead has got to be one of the band whose entire music career is near impossible to be summarized in a convenient thirteen track best of compilation album. I don't suppose anyone would be delighted to hear "The Bends" after "Pyramid Song" in a single listen. Not that "Pyramid Song" or "The Bends" is a bad song but as much as how Radiohead is not an album band, their entire collection of released albums does not sum up into one cohesive unit. Each album stands on its own; it has its own qualities and sound and trademark. Listen to 'Amnesiac' on its own and its a very dignified and rarified (I coined this term) or exotic album; compare it to 'The Bends' and it quickly becomes a cold turkey. I have in fact been thinking about the possibility of EMI releasing a greatest hits sort of collection for Radiohead for the past few years and I've even jumbled up a few tracks to see if it is a plausible idea - so far, I am drawn to a blank. Where to fit in "Paranoid Android"? What about "My Iron Lung"? What is the best track for the opener? Should it begin with the rockier early Radiohead, the neurotic middle age Radiohead, or the weird later age Radiohead? The other problem is that every album serves for a very specific kind of listener, for a very specific kind of listening. If 'The Bends' are listened to while moshing, then 'Kid A' are listened to while masturbating. Or something. Point is: don't buy this recently released best of collection of Radiohead. The recording company is desperate for money. For Radiohead purists like me, the title 'Best of' on the cover reads bullcrap.

Something irked me when I read a post on Generation Y, or more aptly named Generation Whine. This Generation Whine tag, given delightfully to those who were born from 1980 onwards (hell I don't care if it's correct or not), functions bit like pigeon-holing a whole generation of youths after the Generation X which is often associated with angst and the Baby Boom lot which I have absolutely no idea why it was named so that way. The article say those in the Generation Whine often act the way the name goes - they whine. And they whine some more. And they whine a lot. Where Generation X is about being optimistic and driven, Generation Whine is subdued, passive, and a crybaby. So you have whiners like Eminem, and paranoid confused self-loather like Radiohead. I think for that we have to thank Joy Division for making lyrics about sadness and rejection such a phenomenon it is nowadays. And who can blame Ian Curtis for having such an extremely low self-confidence. "Love Will Tear Us Apart" is such a classic; it became the official anthem for the Generation Whine while Ian killed himself a month after releasing the single. Nobody wants to hear him whine in person (which is probably the reason why he committed suicide) but everybody listened to him whine in that song. What convenience.